TH13TEEN: The Unlucky Tale of Alton Towers’ Cursed Coaster and its Infamous Mismarketing

Brave the Black Forest(s)

Though Thirteen may have been the first of its kind, it wasn’t the last.

In 2012, Busch Gardens Williamsburg in Virginia – with villages themed to European countries – capped off a multi-year expansion of its German-themed Oktoberfest with the opening of a new roller coaster: Verbolten. Replacing the beloved, family-friendly, suspended and swinging coaster – the Lost Legend: Big Bad Wolf – Verbolten sets guests down in German roadsters for a roadtrip gone awry.

After passing through a tourist center where the lovable proprietor Gerta warns guests to avoid the legendary Black Forest at all costs, riders walk through the secret shed of her brother Gunter. There, experiments on supernatural seedlings and stacks of suitcases signal that Gunter is hiding a secret fascination with the forest… and we’re his newest experiment.

Only once it’s exited the station and disappeared from onlookers’ view does the ride reveal itself as a multi-launch roller coaster with a surprise of its own: half the layout takes place in a “Black Forest” showbuilding, the train racing, circling, and weaving through blacklight branches and moonlight supports.

Inside the Black Forest, Verbolten, too, boasts a “secret element…” You guessed it – a freefall drop track, accentuated by three randomized theatrical encounters (a pack of red-eyed wolves, a thunderstorm, or the Spirit of the Forest) so it’s a different ride every time.

That freefall drop leads to a second surprise launch back into the view of the public, and then to the ride’s finale: a creaking “covered bridge” overlooking Busch Gardens’ Rhine River, with guests plummeting 90 feet down in a dive nearly identical to the finale of its suspended predecessor.

It’s clear that the Venn diagram of Thirteen and Verbolten would have more overlap than not… So why is the latter one of our favorites while Thirteen’s opening was a disaster fit for a marketing 101 class? Simple. Verbolten maintained secrecy around its stunning hidden element… but otherwise, fessed up to exactly what it was: a family roller coaster meant to be a “first big coaster” for a generation of visitors; a lightly-themed thrill ride perfect for every member of the family, and spiritual successor to the Big Bad Wolf it replaced.

Verbolten skillfully fuses thrill and theme. And best of all, it gets the pacing right in a way Thirteen didn’t. Environment, atmosphere, and adrenaline, balanced.

Today, no less than 7 roller coasters feature the clever, surprising freefall drop element tailor-made for a themed family coaster. But both Thirteen and Verbolten are overshadowed by the most recent ride to use the hidden feature…

Hagrid’s Magical Creatures Motorbike Adventure at Universal’s Islands of Adventure. Ironically, the ride carries guests through – would you believe it? – Hogwarts’ legendary Forbidden Forest, making the Universal ride the third to disguise the freefall drop in a dark and foreboding woods.

It’s unfortunate that Thirteen – a perfectly fun, thoughtfully-themed, and altogether enjoyable family roller coaster – will forever be remembered not as memory-making first “big” coaster for a generation of Alton Towers guests, but as a colossal case study in mistaken identity.

“The ultimate roller coaster?” What would a ride have to incorporate to live up to that promise? And what in Thirteen could’ve gotten anywhere close? When Merlin Entertainments opted to apply “Secret Weapon” status to this family coaster, they instantly elevated expectations to the level of Nemesis, Oblivion, Air, and Rita – each renowned for its own record-setting world’s-first status.

And while Thirteen’s world’s-first element is stunning and worthy of headlining, its later applications in Verbolten and Hagrid’s demonstrate that it works wonders as a brilliant, secretive 21st century family coaster element bound to leave riders stunned and laughing… not the signature move of an ultra-intense thrill ride worthy of a waiver or a nurse on-site.

Besides, Merlin itself let the cat out of the bag before the coaster’s much-anticipated opening!

Lessons learned?

In any case, hopes that Merlin would learn from its mistake would soon be dashed.

2012’s new addition to Alton Towers was Nemesis: Sub-Terra – a sort of spin-off sequel to the Nemesis coaster, inviting guests into an underground research facility where the creature’s eggs were being studied and analyzed by a futuristic military faction. As part of the ride’s marketing stunt, the park brought in the British Board of Film Classification, who awarded the ride a rating of 12A – the equivalent of PG-13.

Alton Towers stuck to the stunt, insisting (up until the ride’s opening, of course) that those under 12 wouldn’t be able to ride, even if they met the height limit. The resulting ride – a hidden 20-foot drop tower interpolating moments of Disney’s Lost Legend: Alien Encounter – was so poorly received, it closed to be retooled after just two months, adding a proper walkthrough haunted house of jump-scares after the ride. In 2015, it closed forever.

2013’s “Secret Weapon 7” – The Smiler, located in X-Sector near Oblivion – dutifully combined Merlin’s better-than-expected theming with an outrageous thrill (in this case, a world record 14 inversions), twisting and diving symmetrically about a massive, mechanical spider structure with each arm of the machine playing a role in “marmalizing” guests.

Of course, a horrific 2015 accident aboard the ride forced the park to walk back much of the marketing madness they’d concocted around the coaster and its ultra-extreme, hypnotic, mind-bending, dystopian style.

The next, “Secret Weapon 8,” ended up being the terrain-hugging Wicker Man wooden coaster, likewise diving in and around a smoking, “flaming” wooden effigy, with guests being “sacrificed” to the massive wooden deity – a somewhat eyebrow-raising overlay for a phenomenal family ride.

(In any case, Merlin’s move here was significantly less schticky than the year prior when Kings Island pulled a similar stunt with their own GCI family coaster. Their Mystic Timbers was accentuated by a viral campaign built around the contents of the “shed” that serves as its final brake run. Ultimately, it ended up being good fun with no love lost.)

Lesson learned? Maybe… Until you consider that nearby Thorpe Park (also operated by Merlin) opened The Walking Dead: The Ride in 2018, promising it would be “15 out of ten on the scare scale” and “right up there with the best in the world in terms of the whole experience”… conveniently failing to mention that it was merely a redress of a 1996 indoor family coaster whose top speed would barely trip a speed detector in a school zone – 25 miles per hour. 

Unlucky

Even once Thirteen ended up being a very different coaster than Merlin had marketed, they still had one more exaggerated stunt up their sleeve. Alton Towers announced that, out of “an abundance of caution,” Thirteen would not operate on its first “Friday the 13th” – August 13th, 2010 – in accordance with the superstition that the date is one of bad luck.

Naturally, they hadn’t really planned to simply turn off their new roller coaster for a full day… The stunt did what it was meant to do (make headlines), so they later “decided” to simply temporarily change the ride’s name to FOU13TEEN, with signs switched out just for the day… just to be safe.

That alone well encapsulates the story of Thirteen – a mostly-solid (if half-baked) 21st century family coaster with a breakout manuever whose reputation was sacrificed as a pawn for Merlin’s marketing madness. The result is a ride that’s neither what it promised to be, nor quite what it should be. It’s a ride that commits the two worst sins when it comes to attractions: it takes itself too seriously and underdelivers.

It’s tragic to think of what Thirteen could’ve been – and indeed, perhaps to see what it could’ve been by way of Verbolten. At least in retrospect with the pomp and circumstance removed, Thirteen feels like a complement to the park’s ride lineup – even if it’s not the end-all-be-all showstopper promised. In any case, Alton Towers took up the mantle once more in building a “Secret Weapon” meant to prototype a previously-thinkable coaster innovation. And in that, they succeeded, and we should all be thankful.