Expanding Epic Universe, Part II: An Armchair-Imagineered Build-Out of Universal Orlando’s Cosmic Theme Park

Rivendell

Again we can thank the production design team behind the films for giving Rivendell definitive form here as a gorgeous settlement located in a valley. Perched on a cliff and surrounded in pounding waterfalls, Rivendell is a sight to behold – in the film, identifiable by its mix of Celtic and art nouveau architecture. The result is gorgeous towers that reach to the sky with tree-like appendages, hearty stone bridges with delicate architectural canopies, and intricate gingerbread supports and balconies. (Rivendell is far less ornate in the books, where it’s called “The Last Homely Home” – that is, the last place for Frodo and company to find warmth, welcome, and shelter before the journey to Mordor becomes, eh, bumpy.)

In my Realm of the Rings, a bridge from Hobbiton would see guests ascend a level to reach Rivendell, with a second ascending bridge from there able to carry guests to the main entry of the manor home serving as Rivendell’s centerpiece.

That would be the entrance to the first ride in the land (and the land’s E-Ticket) – THE LORD OF THE RINGS: MISTS OF MEMORY. We’re lucky to have a plot device here that can help in that Rivendell’s Lord, the immortal half-Elf Elrond. Wise, noble, and compassionate, Elrond’s memory covers all of his 6,500 year life. That makes him – and Rivendell – the place to retell the epic tale of Frodo’s quest through a reflection on the past.

I know that “book report” rides can be (fairly!) derided by fans as cop-outs, and I’ve already added one in the form of a Wicked ride. But the moments that I think make these sorts of rides work is when we’re given a framing device for them. Here, we have that device: that our stay in Rivendell provides us with a chance to look into the past at the great heroes who were here before us.

Suddenly, the “dark ride” format gains new resonance because we aren’t trying to turn a corner of a warehouse into the Shire; we’re acknowledging instead that we’re passing through the misty, hazy memories of what’s come before, all within Rivendell. (Believe it or not, I think a great example of this is Dubai’s MotionGate park, where a Shrek dark ride is contextualized as us entering a puppet-show recreation of the story, which works weirdly well to provide cover for the limitations of the medium. While that’s obviously not the scale or quality we’re going for here, it’s a great example of a “twist” on the book report ride.)

I envision this ride using a trackless dark ride system, but beginning disguised as boats. (After all, Tokyo DisneySea’s aquatopia shows that placing trackless vehicles in shallow water really does sell the impression that they’re floating.) Several boats with lanterns at their stern would depart into the “Mists of Memory” together. From there, my dream is that this ride would borrow its scale from Shanghai’s Pirates of the Caribbean ride, which uses massive screens to incredible effect. I think we could do the same here as we pass through memorable locations, capturing the scale of Frodo’s journey.

And of course, thanks to the trackless ride technology, our boats can depart from the water, sailing through the river of mists all the way to the fires of Mount Doom before being magically returned to Rivendell, wondering if we ever went anywhere at all… Altogether, I wanted this to be a big ride, with substantial scale and several “wow” moments a la Battle at the Ministry of Rise of the Resistance. I think Lord of the Rings deserves it! And that’s not all in terms of attractions…

I have added two accessory attractions to Rivendell as well. The first is HALL OF FIRE. Here, I wanted to use Intamin’s new “Dynamic Motion Stage” ride to similar effect as its (currently, only) installation at Efteling. There, the ride is “Danse Macabre” – a sort of “ride-as-a-show, show-as-a-ride” where 108 guests are seated in vehicles around a circular platform. Each of those vehicles can rotate or spin on its own individual turntable. Meanwhile, the large circular platform that contains all the vehicles can also rise, fall, tilt, and pivot, creating a truly unique show system that – when surrounded in theatricality – provides an experience that’s something of a spiritual sister to the “madhouse.”

Here in Rivendell, I thought this poetic, exciting, family-friendly mix of show, flat, and thrill ride would create a perfect ode to the music and magic of Howard Shore’s score for the films. Framing it as an operatic, poetic experience centered on a great flame onto which wisps of the past are projected feels like it could elevate this musical attraction into a really emotional, interesting twist on the franchise.

Finally, beneath one of the ornate Celtic-nouveau domed spires resides CORANAR CUPS, a frivolous but foundational “Mad Tea Party” style spinning teacup ride. Here, each turntable’s cups would be stylized as a great calendar of the seasons: Tuilë (spring), Lairë (summer), Yávië (autumn), Quellë (fading), Hrívë (winter), and Coirë (stirring). Thus, the ride becomes a great solar calendar of rotating discs and cups that again adds to the park’s “weatherproof” flat ride portfolio.

The Rivendell section of the land also brings with it the RIVER HALL quick service eatery (an open air, covered restaurant with the kitchen located below) and the land’s largest retail space (also the exit for the E-Ticket ride), TREASURES OF RIVENDELL. Altogether, there’s no question that Rivendell is the heart of this world, as evidenced by its architecture, scale, and its housing the E-Ticket Mist of Memory ride. But the path does continue on to one more sub-section of the Realm of the Rings…

Lothlórien

For us, the journey through Middle-earth extends as far as Lothlórien – a woodland realm of the Elves built among the golden mallorn trees. Protected by the Lady of the Woods, Galadriel and her ring, it’s said that Lothlórien’s goodness and light made it impenetrable to the forces of darkness, and that only Sauron himself had power enough to step inside.

Speaking of which, let me momentarily defend my choice to include Lothlórien over a space that feels more “final” in terms of the Lord of the Rings mythology. For example, I did not have our journey end in Mordor – the dark, desolate landscape where Mount Doom resides and where the Fellowship’s quest to destroy the Ring ends. Plus (I hope this makes sense), we don’t really “deserve” it. I already feel a sense of guilt that our progression here (by necessity) removes any challenge or impediment to the “journey.” Even arriving at Lothlórien conveniently omits the Fellowship’s treacherous path through the Misty Mountains, so pulling a “one-two-skip-a-few” and fast-forwarding us to the place it all ends feels really insincere. (I consider: should we plop abridged “Celestial portal rings” between each of these three sub-areas, trying to at least acknowledge the inconsistency in space and time?) Even if we can suspend our disbelief and play along in a theme park, it being a five minute walk between Hobbiton and Mordor feels especially callous. Do you get what I mean? Even the journey from Diagon Alley to Hogsmeade requires a train.

Plus narratively, there really is very little for us – you and I – to do in Mordor, and even if there were, it lacks “theme-park-ability.” Even if we wanted to have some shoehorned version of the space here, I struggle to imagine where we’d eat; where we’d shop; where we’d pee. And given that the Mists of Memory ride is our capstone experience for the land and brings us to Mordor via recollections of the quest, it seems somewhat redundant to then visit it on foot and be like, “Yep, there it is.”

So I really don’t feel much guilt about choosing Lothlórien as the end of our quest. It indicates that there is, indeed, more to Middle-earth beyond Rivendell and its E-Ticket, but the furthest we should go is to another hospitable, friendly (and theme-park-able) place that’s distinct from the others we’ve seen.

Instead, guests would cross over the waters of a gently flowing stream and pass through the gates of Caras Galadhon (the “capital city” of the forest, if you will). There, they’d find themselves beneath the towering trees and ornate Elven structures of the woods. Lothlórien is meant to be an otherworldly, dreamy landscape that I envisioned playing the same role here as Pandora does at Animal Kingdom – that each night, it would be brought to life by mystical blue flame lanterns and glowing, glassy water creating an otherworldly realm of trees, gazebos, and fountains all hidden deep in the enchanted woods and beneath stunning aerial towers build around massive tree trunks.

This is a world you’d want to see spring to life at dusk, glowing with supernatural beauty. I even wondered if it would be wiser to fully enclose this section so that we could use the roof of a showbuilding to our advantage, but I didn’t take that step in this Build-Out.

Instead, this last sub-section would include one ride – LÓRIEN LAURË (LOH-ree-en law-RAY). This tranquil, nothing-goes-horribly-wrong boat-based dark ride would see guests sail in ornate, stylized swan boats through the “golden woods” “overnight” – with the loading area at perpetual dusk. The attraction would sail through the glistening waters as the forest awakens with life through the starlit night. My inspiration here is actually the stage musical adaptation of The Lord of the Rings, with music by A. R. Rahman.

In the musical, an entire song set in Lothlórien is accompanied by acrobats, but it’s midway through the song when Galadriel descends from the trees that I find so beautiful and hypnotic. The Lady of the Woods sings like a lullaby that grows in power:

“Child of my heart, born of a never-ending dream; you were cradled in light, bathed in an ever-flowing stream. Flourish and grow, my mystical world; here you will ever belong! Son of my yearning, daughter of hope, beautiful child of my song… Although storms may descend, mountain and valley may quake, for the days that remain, this is the promise I make: no shadow fall across this land; before the wind and fire I stand; and you, my child, will know no harm enfolded in my arms.” I really encourage you to listen to it, because it’s a really beautiful song and seems like just the basis for this boat ride that grows from a lullaby to a crescendo as dawn breaks and we return from the wonders of Lothlórien.

Connected to it is MEREN GALADHRIM, a table service restaurant located inside the ride and along the waterway, with diners dining beneath lanterns among the early, contemplative scenes of the ride. The obvious counterpart here is the series of in-ride restaurants begun with Disneyland’s Pirates of the Caribbean, then adapted to further Pirates rides in Tokyo, Paris, and Shanghai.

Finally, a multi-level exploration zone – ELVEN WOOD ADVENTURE GLADE – takes its cue from what I consider to be the best of the genre: California Adventure’s Redwood Creek Challenge Trail. (An even more apt comparison might be the same space when it’s in its “Villains Grove” makeover for Halloween, when projection mapping and gorgeous lighting make the space even more alive.) Here, we replace fire towers with the chance to actually climb into the arboreal towers of Caras Galadhon. There are suspension bridges; delicate observation towers; net climbs; slides; caves to explore, soft-floored creeks to walk across; climbing walls; zip-lines, a meeting place for “streetmosphere”…

I love this as a space to explore because what it means is that we basically end up equipping most worlds of Epic Universe with a family exploration zone. Celestial Garden has the Celestuary walkthrough and Mariners Point splash pad; Dark Universe gains the Tom Sawyer Island-esque Moonlight Marsh; we have Viking Training Camp in Berk, and now the Elven Woods in Middle-earth… The only exceptions are the Wizarding World and Super Nintendo World, which both embody the same spirit through their interactive Wands and Power-Up Bands, respectively.

Anyway, one thing I like about “journey”-oriented stories in theme parks (as I discussed in my Hyrule – The Realm of Zelda land at Islands of Adventure) is that as far as we can go, we must always inevitably return home. Epic Universe’s layout makes that doubly true, as we must ultimately return to the portal that bridges us back to Celestial Garden.

Conclusion: Epic Worlds

And now, we’ve come to the end of our Build-Out of Universal Epic Universe. Sometimes I leave a Build-Out thinking, “I don’t know if this one came together exactly the way I wanted. I think I’ll return to it and make some changes someday.” But I have to tell you, to me, this imaginary expansion of Epic Universe reads just right – like it leans into the park’s existing logistics and lore, introduces IPs fitting for its focus on travel to other-worlds, and feels richer and more full in a really satisfying way.

Now, as would be clear to anyone who actually works in the business of themed entertainment, this is quite literally a dream, and for countless reasons (many of which are well beyond my level of understanding), the park I’ve drawn up here couldn’t actually exist. But I hope you can see the ways in which I tried to make this Build-Out “reasonable”; how I tried to use the actual logistics and narratives of Epic Universe to their best effect, even if it’s in a way that amounts to a fanfic.

The result is a park with (ready for this?) 30 rides. (Feel free to explore the attractions, retail spaces, and dining locations on my spreadsheet here – go to “Data,” then “Change view” to see different arrangements.) That would put this version of the park up there with Magic Kingdom and Tokyo Disneyland (which is, of course, the hope of a build-out, whose purpose is to literally envision a park at its most evolved, full, and highest potential). Those rides are spread across the existing five worlds plus the two new ones. Altogether, it adds up to me to a park that really is about epic adventures, stepping into new worlds, and harnessing the full potential of a park built “knowing what we know now” in the “After Potter” era.

Finally, there’s the matter of the exit message. Islands of Adventure greets us with “The Adventure Begins” and then – carved on the exit-facing side of the same bridge – gives us a “kiss goodnight” with the message “The Adventure Lives On…” Epic does the same, with a smart “kiss goodnight” on the rear of the Chronos: “You Wonder Next Which Path to Chart / The Answer Lies Within Your Heart.” It’s sweet and sentimental and I have no issue with it! But since we updated the park’s entry message, I thought I’d do the same here.

As portals fade and dreamers rest,
There yet remains one final test:
This moment on, where’er you go,
Find the EPIC in the world you know.
Farewell…

With that, I can’t thank you enough for making it through 26,000 words of dreamy, self-indulgent, and optimistic out-loud imagining about Epic Universe. I can only use these last words to ask that if you can comfortably do so, it would mean a lot if you would consider joining Park Lore for even $2 a month. You haven’t been interrupted by banners, pop-ups, clickbait, or ads because this site is fully crowdfunded, and it’s that that allows me to create in-depth, quality-over-quantity theme park stories and artwork that isn’t edited for Facebook attention spans or algorithms.

And if you can’t join right now, it would be fantastic if you’d share this feature with a friend, or at least make the jump to my Build-Outs of Islands of Adventure, Magic Kingdom, Hollywood Studios, California Adventure, or Animal Kingdom – a growing library of in-depth reimaginings (created with love!) that this feature now gets to live in forever. Thank you!